Ohhh emotional roller coasters are just the BEST! Yah that was complete and utter sarcasm if you didn't pick up on that one. I've been having them a lot lately. So here is the low down on the past two day.
Yesterday I went to go talk to my adviser because my plan for my major changed. I was going to do paramedics and work through nursing school yad-a-yad-a-hoo. I realized that if I did that it's a lot of schooling and time. I would graduate BYU-I with a bachelors degree, just to go to nursing school to do a associates or another bachelors. So the adviser basically told me that I would be going backwards and I should maybe consider something else. I left his office feeling completely overwhelmed and stressed. I had no idea what I was going to do. I thought it out and I started exploring options. Even the options I didn't necessarily want to do, but would be smart for my plan of going into nursing. I started looking into UNLV and applying to that nursing program and just living at home. It would save money, and I would be going to school for what I really want to do and life is dandy, right? FALSE!
I've always had a strong feeling that Rexburg is the place for me. I love it here so much. Even when I wanted to hate it and knew it would be easier to go to school at home, I still felt I need to be here. And I still had that feeling but I just don't see how it is the "smart," right thing to do. Needless to say I was very much down in the dumps yesterday and extremely stressed out. Making decisions aren't my strong point.
Good thing God gave us parents eh? So I talked with my parents and talked it through with them and they both encouraged me to do what I feel is right and what I want. They left it up to me, but they still put a settle 'you belong in Rexburg' feeling in what they said.
Today, however, was a marvelous day. Even though I still had the weight of the decision on my shoulders, my mom encouraged me to stay here for school. She sent me a website where I could explore options for my degree. That instantly made me feel calm. The calmness continued when Tiff and I were able to get away and go to IF to enjoy the stormy weather and get food. Then I had a softball game, softball always makes me happy so that helped a lot. But my favorite part of the day was my interview with Brother Petersen. He is a counselor in my bishopric and he is basically my favoritest person ever. I was there to receive a calling, but talking with him is so peaceful. He said the most tender things to me for no apparent reason. I just know he probably knew I needed to hear those words from someones mouth. And the Lord knew it would mean the most to me coming from his. That 40 minutes of just talking to him just brightened my whole mood. I can't even express my love for him.
So I'm strongly considering staying here going into a public health science degree with a cluster in emergency care and another cluster in nursing. With this I could work with organizations like AIDS awareness and benefits like that. I'm also just going to apply to UNLV just in case because backup plans are great. It's been rough but I think I'm finally getting into the clear and it's feeling amazing. It's just hard getting through the storm. I just see it as the process of growing up.
The process of finding myself.
I haven't done a song in awhile and I know you've been super depressed. This song always makes me feel better, and gives me a strong urge to go to Cali and go to the beach... if only.
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